Content Warning: arguments, family drama, PTSD
I fail to give people the benefit of the doubt when they deserve it most: family and friends.
If people are not clear about their intent or use poor phrasing, I am likely to assume the worst.
On a good day, I breath and ask them to clarify their intentions. However, if I am under a log of stress (like I am with this divorce) I frequently fail to slow down and ask for clarification.
I really don’t enjoy being angry all the time and am trying to not be like this. I know it doesn’t always seem like that but it’s the truth. There’s where I wish other people would give me a chance.
When I fail to do this, my friends usually ask me to slow down and clarify my interpretation of the situation. I recently had a falling out with some relatives because, despite knowing me my whole life, they haven’t figured this out.
I’ve actually done enough CBT that I know what I need to do to actively improve on this. It’s not easiy but it’s doable. It’s take a couple years to master. It’s just disheartening to have other people demand that I do better immediately and while I’m under stress.
So that’s the best analysis I could come up with when I was asked to “think about what you’ve said.” Hopefully it can be a two way street of understanding and patience.